Tissue Culture

I don’t understand the obsession of our people with the once ubiquitous but soon to be extinct paper tissues. At restaurants, I see people grabbing a bunch of tissues and the small stand that holds the tissues neatly is empty in no time. The server may even happily bring you another cup of steaming hot sambar, but he will not bring another single tissue!

In many small restaurants, issuing of paper tissues are highly regulated. In fact, you’ll get one handed over along with your change only at the cash counter. After you had duly paid - bypassing the stares of the bearer who served you the filter coffee and upma hoping for the elusive tips - the cashier will ceremoniously hand over a single 5x5’ inch crumpled tissue.

When you visit the ‘hand-wash’ area, the moment the tissue stand is filled, there’ll appear from nowhere a dozen hands to grab them all – never mind that they had already wiped their hands clean on their pants or their duppattas – no gender disparity here. 

The roadside tea-shops have the ideal solution for this tissue craving. They string neatly torn (not cut) pieces of old newspapers which you can just pull out after stuffing yourself with the crispiest masala vada or the oiliest samosas. These newspaper tissues absorb the oil so well and need I say more – these tissue substitutes also vanish in no time! 

Let’s change the topic and reach for the skies – literally, to find an answer to this intriguing obsession. You remember, those good old days when the airlines were flying high and the smiling hostesses distributed candies? These airline staff must be now thanking their stars because nobody ever distributes candies or any goodies anymore in any airlines nowadays. Those days, before the tray passes the first row it will be empty! I used to study the age-group of these candy crushers and did find that eager daddies and mummies grabbing more  – in fact, the children for whom it should be a treat are very polite and just take one or two after a scared glance at their parents who are gleefully dipping into the goodies tray. Now, you know why no sweets – ever on any airlines. I heard rumours that in business class they were giving but soon ran out of stock. And the best part, some airlines after being fed up with replenishing toffees in their coffers - eradicated the business class completely.  Wow! That’s revolutionary. 

Candies, ok, I understand to an extent people’s craving for it. But tissues?! I can never fathom the logic.  I have often wondered. Tissues are not part of our culture anyway, then why are we crazily going after these simple tissues like it were a special treat? The answer lies somewhere deep in our psyche. We love freebies! Even if it’s just a piece of paper.